Don’t Cry……

Hey how you been? Good?

Got a question for you? Why the surprised look? You should know how my brain works. Oh please, don’t give me the you don’t know look.

Anyway, I was cooking the other day… don’t laugh I can cook… well you didn’t give me the talent to be Master Chef, so that’s on you. As I was saying, I’m working through the prepping stage and grabbed the onion…. seriously do you have sick sense of humor?

How can you conjure up a vegetable to make us cry? WTF were you thinking? We are already emotional creatures, well us women… oh except for my ex-husband who should have been a woman… yes, yes, that WTF question is definitely for another time.

We’ve already created ourselves a hectic schedule but a vegetable that brings us to tears. I can’t even believe there are experts who have studied to finding out why this happens. How did they figure out that this was their purpose in life? Weird.

But here’s the crack up…. the solutions to try and stop the tears. I see you raised your eyebrows. There is a solution isn’t there? No? Hmm.

Well they say the classic is to wear glasses, well I can vouch that theory doesn’t work. My mum said put the onion skin on your head. I did try it but I think she got a laugh out of that one. The other one was don’t cut the ends off until the end. Why do we cut the ends of things anyway? You don’t know? Oh I see, that was our invention. Oh the funniest is putting a piece of bread in your mouth.

You’re laughing, don’t choke.